Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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