Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
