A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
