I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
