Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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