Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
