It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
