oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
