Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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