this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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