I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
