i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
