I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
