If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
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