Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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