I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
