You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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