Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
