Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
