I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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