Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
