Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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