East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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