drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
