unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
