I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize