You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
