I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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