she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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