he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
