Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
