maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
