I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
