so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
