So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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