brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
this is an emotional support booty call
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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