small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
