its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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