i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
soo... how was my night?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
