fuck your aforementioned shoe
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
