things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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