maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You can't motorboat a personality
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
