I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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