It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
