he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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