I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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