I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
