Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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