How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
