Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
