I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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