Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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