He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
