he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize