i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
