So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize