Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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