Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
