Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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